Is Sex Addiction Real?
Every few months, we watch some of our most beloved headliners and “role models” go through parallel patterns. There was the cougar trend that slipped into mainstream usage by Demi, Jennifer, Halle and several more. Months, later DUIs became the latest accessory – proud owners including Lindsay, Mischa and Keifer. And we all can’t seem to shake the reality TV phase, where everyone and their mom starred in their own television show, allowing us an inside look at the “scripted” reality of the rich and famous. But over the past few months, we’ve been confronted with a new trend: an influx of infidelity.
From Tiger Woods, to Jesse James, to David Duchovny (on and off screen) – they have all fallen victim to the newly spreading trend, one by one breaking silence of their extramarital affairs. Subsequently they all jumped on to the rehab bandwagon. How shocking. But this isn’t the usual Hollywood hills drug or alcohol remedy. This is a whole new type of healing: sex rehab – 21 sex-free days on a scenic mountain peak peering over a sunset. Can you picture it? Nevertheless, according to the gossip junkies, it is debatable whether their behavior is even an addiction at all.
Actors, politicians, monster garage junkies and athletes seem to be gravitating towards “rehab facilities” any time they’re caught with their pants down, or so to speak. These once praiseworthy husbands cheat on their wives with waitresses, centre fold models and tattoo-faced women and chalk it up to “sex addiction”. Not only are we left apprehensive about our own spouse’s fidelity, but it also makes us ponder whether this so-called chronic habit really exists, or whether it’s simply superstars falling victim to the unlimited access of groupies, fans and floozies.
According to Heather Tarnai-Feeley, an outpatient social worker operating in a Sexual Behaviors Clinic, a “sex addiction does not really exist”. Instead it is what’s known as a “paraphilic disorder”, which consists of “sexual arousal to objects, situations, or individuals that are not part of normative stimulation and that may cause distress or serious problems for the paraphiliac or persons associated with him or her.” Tarnai-Feeley explains that these patients are treated with antiandorgen medication and cognitive behavioral therapy treatment.
Dr. Federoff, a forensic psychiatrist – who specializes in sexual behavior – believes that many people recover when they remain on the go or get a job. At times, 12-step programs adapted to paraphilic disorder are used. Through treatment, Tarmay-Feeley explains that they help patients focus on living a constructive life, by “working towards positive goals”. Patients are taught to recognize triggers for unhealthy sexual behavior and substitute it by getting involved in other activities. May we suggest golf or perhaps motorcycle mending?
When guest speaking on Oprah, leading expert on the topic, Gary Neuman, estimated that one in 2.7 men will cheat – and most of their wives will never know about it. Well fortunately enough for Hollywood chatter and very persistent paparazzi, Tiger and Jesse’s dirty laundry is out to air for all to see. Both men made public confessions, begging their wives for forgiveness. We can’t help but wonder if they feel bad for their actions, or bad simply because they got caught.
Is there such a thing – or is this a new way to rationalize unacceptable behavior? It sounds to me like another escape route of accountability taken to a higher level.
Nice post, maybe I am addicted to sex so far now.